In some cases, the person causing the conflict is just not pleasant. And will go out of their way to cause conflict. It is much rarer, but if you have someone who intent on wrecking havoc, it’s a deeper conversation about whether that person is a good match for the organisation. And if the organisation has no intention of resolving it, then it is a question for you as to whether the organisation is a good fit for you.
Conflict is one of the things that adults don’t do well. These tips, albeit created for kids would make an immediate difference in many a workplace conflict.
What I love about an approach like Dr Bradberry has suggested is that if you know that conflict isn’t really your thing – you can try some of these out. You can practise. Almost always that will be better than remaining passively silent or losing it to aggression.
Sometimes hard things do resolve themselves without any other intervention. A huge sigh of relief and life goes on.But usually they have become hard for a reason, and time/ignoring it doesn’t usually make them any less hard.
Exactly when we want to turn away and change the topic, or just end the conversation, or counter, as you say, we also have the opportunity to ask what else we need to know to fully understand the other person’s perspective.
So much conflict – what can I do? It is one of the questions that I get asked most often: how do I stop conflict
The first thing to say is that mankind has been behaving badly since time began. It’s now just more obvious because we’re exposed to other people’s stories through social and other sources of media. You know when you buy a yellow car, how suddenly all you’re seeing are yellow cars? We see what we focus on, so if you start looking for idiots, that’s what you’ll find.
Of course, these are often the conversations that we put off because we think they will be difficult, awkward or uncomfortable. And so things don’t get said when they need to be said. Feelings fester. Positions become entrenched. What was a smaller issue becomes bigger. What was fixable becomes less so.
A senior leader in a well known company gave me an example of how her leadership team aren’t communicating with their teams about forthcoming organisational changes. This
How to turn around conflict causing scenarios that are giving you headaches and causing building resentment.
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