What should you do to help an employee who is the victim of domestic violence?

More and more we are hearing about women (and men) who are the victims of domestic violence. The statistics are shocking. Which means that it is more than likely – at some time during your career as a leader, you will have an employee going through this.

Many people, when faced with a difficult subject, fear that they will make it worse by saying anything or doing the wrong thing. So they take the “safer” road of doing and saying nothing.

But there is plenty you can do as an employer and as a leader. Some of this is proactive, some of it reactive.

The following is from our regular Human Nature column in the Sunday Times, which addresses just this point:

What do I do if an employee is experiencing domestic violence?

An employee has just come to me in tears and told me that she is experiencing domestic violence at home. I don’t know what to say or do, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing.

Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety (ANROWS) cite research that 1 in 4 women will experience emotional abuse from a current or former partner and 1 in 6 women will experience physical or sexual violence from a current or former partner.

Men too experience domestic violence, at the rates of 1 in 7 experiencing emotional abuse, and 1 in 19 experiencing physical or sexual abuse from a current or former partner.

We also know that domestic violence isn’t only about physical or sexual violence, it can include financial abuse, social abuse and stalking.

So it is an issue that all employers need to get to grips with.

Although it is without doubt a sensitive area, there are some practical things you can do to help.

Practical things you can do as a leader and as an employer

Firstly – have a well-drafted policy that outlines your organisation’s position on the issue. Make sure that this policy is well communicated and backed up by an awareness campaign so all your employees know about it. There are groups who work in the area of domestic violence who will happily come to your organisation to help raise awareness and provide assistance (such as White Ribbon Australia).

Make sure your managers and other key people within the organisation are trained in the policy and know what to do and say if an employee comes to them asking for help.

Don’t counsel – just listen

The good news is that you don’t need to become a counsellor. In fact, it is strongly recommended that you don’t counsel or provide any advice. For example, “you should just leave him” or “I don’t know how you can stay” or “think about your children.”

Rather, it is suggested that you:

  • Listen to the person.
  • Show you believe them.
  • Take the disclosure seriously.
  • Let them know about local services.
  • Offer practical support.

There are a number of support services with specifically trained counsellors available 24 hours a day.   Refer the employee to one of these – they know what to say and how to appropriately assist.

Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline           08 9223 1188                                        1800 007 339

Men’s Domestic Violence Helpline                 08 9223 1199                                        1800 000 599

1800 RESPECT                                                   http://www.1800respect.org.au       1800 737 732

Paid Leave

You might also like to consider whether to offer paid leave to support employees experiencing domestic violence. This can be incredibly helpful to enable the employee to put plans in place safely, without their partner’s knowledge.

The recent decision from the Full Bench of the Fair Work Commission dismissed the ACTU’s application for ten days paid leave per year for victims of domestic violence. However, they did acknowledge that it is an issue that workplaces cannot stay silent on.

The Commission has been hearing submissions on unpaid leave, and whether personal/carers leave can be used for domestic violence.

What does this mean for you and your organisation? Firstly – check whether any relevant award or agreement has unpaid leave already included. If not, and you’d like to consider provision of some leave (paid or unpaid), you can always do this via a workplace policy. Make sure it is well thought out and well communicated.

Want more?

If you would like to discuss how I could help you look at this issue, get in touch.

And if you’re still  hungry for more you can find my leadership book here which has some great resources on how to manage yourself and your team during times of hardship.

Until next week, happy leading.

Content first published in the Sunday Times, Human Nature column (23rd July 2017)

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