This year, the School Council of my daughter’s school has introduced a leadership programme for the Student Council. The Council finds interesting speakers to speak to the Student Council about topics that are relevant for them.
The first topic was conflict resolution. The session was facilitated by a Commissioner of the Western Australian Industrial Relations Commission. An extremely skilled conflict resolver, she talked the kids though a simple process to manage conflict.
How’s that relevant to the workplace I hear you ask?
Conflict is one of the things that adults don’t do well. These tips, albeit created for kids would make an immediate difference in many a workplace conflict.
Steps to conflict resolution
Cool off. Go for a walk around the block. Drink a glass of water. Take some time to let the adrenaline calm down and be in a state where you are actually able to resolve the conflict rather than just fight.
Share what happened. Using “I” language share what happened from your perspective.
Speak kindly and honestly. We respond better to a kind tone than an aggressive one. This just makes sense. An aggressive tone tells the brain that it is in danger – spiking the fight/flight or other irrational and unhelpful responses.
Listen carefully and explain what you heard. LISTEN….. That doesn’t mean preparing your next onslaught, it means listen to understand. Then, explain it back to the person what you think you’ve heard. This has a double whammy – it shows the other person you have been listening AND it allows you check whether you have understood it correctly.
Finally – come up with solutions. These may not be the ones you’ve initially considered.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- How does your workplace “do” conflict?
- Anything you can do differently considering the approach suggested above?
- If there is a skill that is particularly hard for your team, who can you help them build capacity?
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See you next tomorrow. Yes, a month of posting daily.
