Rather than spend a reasonable amount of time addressing fears and concerns …
Leaders avoid the fears and concerns that arise during period of immense change and then spend an unreasonable amount of time addressing the problematic behaviour that always follows. Brene says “we don’t peel the onion to look at what is driving the behaviour”.
It’s a simple enough question, with an answer that we can probably all relate to. You know how it feels when someone is rude to you, whether that is in the workplace or more broadly in life.
These team adventures are done completely in isolation of real life. They’re the brainwave of the poor sucker who is in charge of organising an event. They seem fun, and get the team out of the office for the day, but….
Picking up the phone works if the relationship matters, or if it might matter in the future. Or where your reputation as a supplier or employer matters.
The simple answer is performance. Our research has repeatedly shown a concrete link between having a best friend at work and the amount of effort employees expend in their job.
When we communicate in real life, we can read the situation – and we (hopefully) adjust our approach according to the cues that we are picking up. If we see that the other person is getting flustered or annoyed by what we’re saying, we might choose to take another tack. Or perhaps pursue it again another day.
The key is really to dig deeper. What are you really worried about? Is it how the other person will react? Is it that you don’t know what to say or how to say it, and you’re worried it might be clumsy?
And the good news, is that it doesn’t need to be about siting cross legged and humming “ommm”. Both meditation and mindfulness are now packaged in many different ways. Without doubt, there will be a style and approach that suits you and your lifestyle.
Ask someone who doesn’t know the team or the workplace to do a walk through. Ask them to observe what they saw about the environment the way that people interacted with each other, what the general ‘feel’ was.
If you don’t want that sort of behaviour to be part of your culture – ultimately – you need to make a decision to do something about it. It’s unlikely the asshole is going to come to that conclusion of their own volition and just suddenly change.
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